7 Things I Would Do Differently to Avoid Future Sleep Problems If I Could Rebirth My Baby

So let me give you some context before telling you what I would do differently if I rebirthed my firstborn.

When I was pregnant, I blindly believed people when they told (umm lied) to me — “Newborns just sleep all day.” No practical advice, no tips, nothing. Just vague reassurances that made me feel like sleep would be a no-brainer.

Since I assumed sleep would be easy, I put all my energy into understanding feeding and did a great job with that (I think?).

Now the real problem was that I was taking advice from people who last cared for a newborn 25 years ago. 🤦🏻‍♀️

So when my baby didn’t do what all newborns are SUPPOSED to do, I was bewildered. She was not sleeping well. So freaking wakeful. Up for hours at a time.

I started searching high and low for answers:

• Why won’t my baby sleep?

• Why does she cry all day?

• Why is she up all night?

When she was around 1.5 months old, there was one day that she was awake for 11 hours straight. That’s the day I spiralled really badly. I felt incompetent and like a total failure. Cried so much along with my baby.

I spoke to pediatricians — they blamed colic. Asked me to give probiotics. And I did.

Then I spoke to some family elders — they blamed my breastmilk. Asked me to change my diet. And I did.

I was running out of options. I was in no shape or mental state to do an online course or read a book to figure it out.

Gosh, I didn’t even know that there are people like Pediatric Sleep Consultants that existed who I could get help from.

Finally, I started piecing together the solution from a few blogs and by talking to this super woke modern twin mama who clearly had her shit together (at least more than me).

Did things get better? Yes!

Were they great? No, not really. She was still up 3–5 times every night. I was still a broken and tired woman, but at least not as bad as it had gotten.

This went on for another couple of months, and I finally got my baby to sleep through the night around 6 months with sleep training. That’s a story for another time.

Ok now, let’s talk about if I could rebirth my baby — here are all the ways I would handle her sleep differently as a certified pediatric sleep consultant & newborn care specialist:

1. I would make a clearer differentiation between night and day from the beginning.
After the bedtime routine, the nights will begin and they will be “business only” in a dark room. No turning on lights and playing or talking or taking baby videos in the middle of the night. I’ll reserve all of that for the day.
→ This would help the baby’s internal clock develop faster and reduce confusion between day naps and night sleep.

2. I would not wake my baby or delay a nap for visitors.
Firstly, I would further limit the visitors as it can be seriously overstimulating for a newborn. The people I do allow to visit will just have to wait to see and hold my baby if it’s nap time.
→ Honestly, they can come another time. Baby’s sleep comes first.

3. I would start a bedtime routine from week 1.
Babies don't understand time but they understand sequences. So even having a simple & consistent bedtime routine before the “night” begins would be so helpful in differentiating days from nights.
→ Something like: feed → change → swaddle → lullaby → lights out. Repeat every evening.

4. I would watch out for her wake windows and not just tired signs.
Newborn tired signs are subtle and so easily missed. I mean they don’t even have the coordination to rub their eyes. Crying newborn means it’s already too late. Wake windows for 0–6 week old babies are less than an hour and I’ll be really mindful of that.
→ That means starting the nap wind-down at the 45 min mark, not after they show signs.

5. I would do more tummy time.
It’s a must-do and not an optional activity for when you have time. I didn’t do nearly as much tummy time as is recommended to strengthen baby's back & muscles as my baby used to get really upset. Instead, I’ll get more creative to make tummy time more enjoyable.
→ Maybe try tummy time on my chest, or with mirrors, or high-contrast cards to make it fun.

6. I will embrace more naps on the go!
I would want my baby to be used to sleeping in multiple settings and not just while rocking or nursing. So I’ll plan at least one nap time in the stroller and another in the carrier to get some time outdoors for my baby and myself.
→ This also builds flexibility and gives me some freedom back.

7. I will not respond to every single night waking with a feed.
Back then I didn’t understand that babies wake for reasons other than hunger — such as they’re just not able to connect the sleep cycle, or because of a gassy tummy, or just so many other reasons. There were nights we were offering up to 5 bottles after every hour or so and some when she just had 2 after 3–4 hour gaps. The extremely frequent night feeds got us into much bigger sleep issues such as a STRONG feed-sleep association and reverse cycling that we had to work to break later. 
So my advice would be maintain 2-3 hour gaps between feedings at night in the first 1-2 months and then lengthen these gaps to 4-6 hours as your baby gets older to encourage them to eat more in the day. For some wakings, you can pat them or rock back to sleep instead of feeding every time.

If you’re in the thick of newborn sleep struggles, I see you. I was you. And while I can’t go back and redo my journey, I can share what I’ve learned so you don’t have to go through the same spiral I did.

You don’t have to wait until 6 months to start making changes. You can start gently, mindfully, from day one.

💛 Want a head start?

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